


vain act。김희철 x 민경훈

by naechul



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), K-pop, Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naechul/pseuds/naechul
Summary: heechul is a pretty, feminine idol who unknowingly makes millions of hearts skip a beat, regardless of gender. radiating confidence, he seems pretty obnoxious to some people. however, he also has his soft, sensitive sides which he's just good at hiding.min kyunghoon has been holding back his true feelings for a while now, the fear of rejection clearly impacting him. as it gets too much to handle, his instincts take over on a summer day, and so, he unwillingly confesses his love to the man he knows is way too good for him.





	vain act。김희철 x 민경훈

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fantasize](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasize/gifts).
  * Inspired by [aftereffects.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/373155) by fantasize/fantaxize. 



nervously tapping his foot, kyunghoon took a sip of the iced coffee he brought with him in hopes that the refreshing taste would relieve a bit of the underlying pressure he felt. since it was noon in the middle of july, he wasn't able to tell if the sweat forming on his skin was because of the immense heat or the light anxiety he felt.

 

he was snapped out of his thoughts as the door in front of him opened, revealing a barefaced man in pajamas who had eyepatches and a face-slimming beauty tool on.

**"hey, hyung- i brought some cold drinks and sweets."**  kyunghoon hastily greeted his friend.

**"mh, hey. thanks, just come in."**  heechul casually replied.

the younger was a bit flustered and self conscious; his hyung was so casual and had probably just woken up, so why was he making such a big fuss, being all nervous?

**"why are you using that beauty mask thing? you don't really need it.."**  he commented after quickly stepping inside.

**"i need my face to be a bit slimmer, though."**  chul mumbled, leading his friend to the living room.

 

why was there this awkward tension that kyunghoon felt? well, as celebrity colleagues, they got pretty close. they had two singles and a tv show together and got along well.

but somewhere along the way.. with heechul's feminine-like beauty, the many rumors about his sexuality and his confusing psycho tv persona, the younger couldn't understand nor see his hyung the same way he did before.

unfortunately, the cast of their tv show implemented their love into the program as a gag, perplexing the maknae even more.

since 'heemi' was a popular role, the guy had to crossdress and act like a girl a lot; so much, that his dongsaeng started looking at him as if he was a woman.. or.. a man. a man he was attracted to romantically.

kyunghoon wasn't gay, though. he liked girls. but when heechul's captivating eyes were staring into his own and his dark voice was whispering to him, just inches away, oh man then he got reaaally gay-

without min kyunghoon noticing, his affection towards his pretty hyung grew more and more without him noticing any of it.

that was, until on one episode, the topic of heenim's rumors came up again. after they laughed about it, soogeun added that  **"he probably flirts with the boygroups backstage."**  to which chul responded with an expression of disgust and the comment:  **"i'd rather flirt with a pig!"**

ssamja quietly chuckled at the conversation, being the less talkative guy. afterwards, however, he found himself wondering why he was feeling so upset even though nothing had happened.

he brushed it off, thinking that he might've slipped into the acting role of dating his hyung too much.

yet, in the span of that day, kyunghoon realized that it wasn't a joke, not an acting scene, but real attraction.

he desperately tried convincing himself that heechul was, despite his charming eyes and peachy lips, a man. a man! kyunghoon couldn't have fallen for a man, or so he thought.

after that incident, he started putting a lot of space between the two of them, which is why their relationship got awkward.

 

back to the summer day on which ssamja visited his hyung's house;

soon after depositing the snacks he bought on the table, kyunghoon started petting heenim's pets heebum and zorr, relieving his stress.

although not a single ray of sunshine made it through the thick, red curtains, the heat seemed deadly to the guest.

**"so.. you can set my laptop up now, right?"**  the younger one asked.

the reason he was even visiting his hyung was that he decided to buy a laptop, but since the prices were quite brutal, he settled for a cheaper one that required a lot of annoying setting up and linking to accounts.

kyunhoon would've gone through the trouble of setting it up himself, but when he was talking about it to sangmin, he loudly advised that he should just ask heechul since he was good with technic stuff. and since heechul was in the room and had heard everything, it would've been rude not to.

**"yup. it'll maybe take an hour or two. get comfy or something."**  heenim informed him, focusing more on the gaming livestream that was playing than the conversation.

ssamja thanked him and got out the laptop, starting it up for him.

 

while the elder started working, his guest decided to walk around and check out the fridge.

a gasp coming out as soon as he was greeted by the ridiculous sight, he started yelling,  **"how can you only have water, diet drinks and animal food here?! are you a dog, hyung?"**

the suju member only sighed  **"it's fine. i eat out a lot or get delivery."**

**"that's unhealthy.."**  the singer pouted while mumbling to himself.

kyunghoon sat down, eating some cake, playing with the pets or watching tv for a while.

now that his crush was focused on setting up the computer, he didn't feel that much awkward tension.

 

although only little time had passed, it felt like an eternity to ssamja who was basically dying of heat on the red couch.

he decided to walk into the office to check how his hyung was doing.

**"alright. it's downloading some things now, i'll continue when it's done."**  the elder yawned, stretching.

**"thank you again, hyung."**

**"if you're that thankful.."**  heenim walked over to the bed kyunghoon was sitting on and took a seat next to him.  **"then sing a bit for me."**

**"sing? but i already sing so much. and you imitate me a lot."**  the younger was a bit flustered at the sudden request.

**"my imitations could never be as good as min kyunghoon's voice. it's like an angel's."**  suddenly complimenting him, heechul chuckled softly.

**"why are y-you.. uhm, what song would you like?"**  even more heat rushing to the singer's face, he started blushing. he was alright as long as his hyung was in his normal, narcissistic persona. but when he got real and caring, he started seeing him in a different light, a romantic one. and that was really bad right now.

**"가시 (=thorn). my relationships are usually short and i haven't ever felt as heartbroken as the lyrics describe, but i like the song. maybe women just don't like me, so they always end up dumping me."**

_date me, then._ was what he wanted to say, but thankfully didn't. instead, he just said  **"that's not true.. but.. i'll sing it for you."**

**"you must be tired of it by now, since you performed it a lot. sorry, kyunghoon-ah."**

**"it's fine."**  the singer cleared his throat before starting.

 

_a memory embedded deep, like a thorn. even if it hurts, i'm not aware of it. the memory of you, a love from the past. it becomes a thorn that digs into me. please go away, go away foreve-"_

 

 

the younger lowered his head.

heechul looked at the singer after he suddenly stopped.

**"i'm sorry.. i don't know why i'm nervous now, of all times."**  kyunghoon apologized while trembling.

**"don't be, that was amazing.. but, why are you scared** _**now** _ **"**

**"i don't know.."**

**"we used to be closer, too. why did you get so awkward?"**

**"hyung, stop.."**  he weakly ordered, avoiding the other's gaze.

**"don't i have the right to ask that? seriously, what's wrong, huh?"**  heechul scooted even closer, lifting the coward's chin up.

as soon as they locked eyes, kyunghoon knew it was too late to try to control himself; he had to finish this, once and for all.

he may have ignored his feelings before, but with his heart pounding like it was about to explode, there was nothing to deny anymore. feeling beads of sweat form on his forehead, the air started becoming stuffier.

all the desires he was holding back seemed so suffocating to the singer.

 

**"you make me crazy."**

each and every word kyunghoon said took ages to pass by; the air was practically standing still.

then, he lost focus of everything. everything but those plump, rosy lips. to him, the world was spinning, but there was nothing he could do except for taking a deep breath and closing the distance between them.

heechul's lips were unbelievably soft, creating the illusion that this very moment was just a daydream. but it was reality.

kyunghoon's hands tightly gripping onto the bedsheets, his partner's erratic breath that felt cooling against his skin, their sincere kiss. everything felt like it lasted an eternity, until something unexpected occured.

both of them had lost control over their actions as their true feelings were being revealed. kyunghoon froze when heechul started moving. but not away, but towards him.

there was no way the situation could be real, but there the two men were, showing what they really felt.

it was kyunghoon who lightly pulled away after shock had gotten the best of him. he opened his eyes and stared at his lover, desperately searching for answers.

his hyung's gaze was filled with surprise and excitement as it trailed down to ssamja's lips again. it was like he needed confirmation for what just happened.

 

totally startled, heenim jumped away, pushing kyunghoon away.  **"wha-"**  his voice came out high and cracked.

**"what the fuck were you thinking?!"**  he yelled at the younger.

unable to respond, kyunghoon could only look at his love.

**"leave."**  heechul barked, getting the laptop and throwing it at him before pushing him towards the entrance.

**"h-hy-"**  the youngest got cut off abruptly.

**"don't say anything. just get the fuck out."**

getting mad, kyunghoon placed his hand on heechul's cheek. seeing how it flustered him and shut him up, he whispered:  **"why did you kiss me back, then?"**

leaving the elder speechless, he turned around and left the apartment.

as the door closed, it produced a lonely, hollow sound.

trying to process everything, heechul stayed in that place for a while, just staring at the entrance.

the only thing that caused him to move were the tears drenching his cheeks.

**"don't love me if i felt so much pain trying to repress my feelings for you. it's unfair."**

kim heechul isn't a harsh man. just a great actor.

 

_"the one who loved excessively._   
_the one who feared exceedingly._   
_the one who missed you insanely._   
_please let go of all of those parts of me."_

~민경훈×김희철: 가시

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by @fantasize (*´ෆ `* )  
> just a oneshot  
> lowercase for aesthetic reasons lol  
> also here's a link to gasi/thorn aka the song i used: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE4kiiYIyBc


End file.
